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16 and pregnant with little burrito babies!!!!!!! but hey boobs

e-zekiel:

cute story: I have a friend with a prosthetic arm, and he once confided in me that, after seeing this movie, he’s always wanted someone to ask him for this. Then, the one day, I was at the grocery store with him and a couple other people, and one of our friends couldn’t reach a box on the shelf and asked him, “Dude gimme a hand here”. And, I swear to christ he practiced this because the speed at which he slipped off his prosthesis was blinding, and then he hurled his arm at her. He, unfortunately, got a tad overexcited, and instead of it just landing near her, it spun out and essentially bitchslapped her in mid-air.
Now we say it all the time around him, and he blames Disney for the fact that he has no girlfriend.

unexplained-events:

Chito and Pocho

Chito says goodbye to his bestfriend Pocho, the seventeen foot half ton crocodile.

Gilberto “Chito” Shedden found Pocho over 20 years wounded and near death. Pocho had been shot in the left eye by a cattle farmer. Chito didn’t have the heart to leave him, so he took him back home and nursed him back to health. A decade of friendship later, someone saw Chito and Pocho swimming together and told the local media.

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By the summer of 2000, they had become stars after their first show. Large groups of people would gather to watch these two perform tricks like winking, rolling over and allowing Chito to put his head inside the giants mouth.

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Chito and Pocho grew closer and closer with each amazing performance. Not only were the performances amazing, but also the fact that a human and crocodile could become such close friends. People were amazed. It’s always beautiful to see a strange friendship like the one Chito and Pocho had.

SOURCE

Anonymous said: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

departmentsaur:

shubbabang:

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ITS SO CUTE I HAVE TO REBLOG IT AGAINN

bewbin:

"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?""dont patronize me Greg"

bewbin:

"the weather seems ruff today doesnt it Spot haha?"
"dont patronize me Greg"

human-sloth:

this is the most important thing on the internet today

grahamnortonshow:

Hobbiton is a real place.

RIP Robin Williams, defender of dreams.

baby: m....m...m
mom: mama? ma? mommy?
baby: m...m...
baby: m..mY ANACONDA DONT